


When Victory Means Defeat

by manorsmalfoy



Series: H/D Prompt Challenge [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Drarry Drabbles, Fluff and Angst, H/D Prompts Challenge, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 10:12:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11553030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manorsmalfoy/pseuds/manorsmalfoy
Summary: Prompt no. 13: "You know, it's okay to cry."





	When Victory Means Defeat

**“You know,** Potter, **it’s okay to cry.”**

     “Fuck you,” Harry spat back from where he had tucked his face in between his bent knees. He had crumpled when he had finally reached the top of the astronomy tower in what had a dead sprint.

     It was all too much, sometimes, Harry found. One moment he would be sitting at breakfast between Neville and Ginny and all was well, and then somebody would drop a plate or kick the bench and Harry would be left swimming in the vibrations. Everything was alright, until suddenly it wasn’t. Suddenly it was Fred’s empty seat and the hallowed looks in his friend’s eyes and it was hot, so hot and sticky and  _suffocating_  and why couldn’t Harry breathe? How could everyone else be sitting there breathing and talking and so full of life when Harry had  _died?_

     Sometimes, it was too much, and Harry fled. It was not very becoming of the savior, but the war was over and Harry was still running. Running to the top of the astronomy tower and curling into himself and almost heaving with the effort of pulling air into his lungs.

     “No, you know what? Fuck you, Potter. I actually meant that,” said Malfoy, taking a few enraged steps towards Harry’s side of the room. Harry said nothing in response, save for ragged, sharp breaths. Almost unaware of the other’s presence, he moved his hands down from where his fingers had fisted in his hair, to slap them over his ears. He skewed his eyes shut and felt sweat begin to trace a path down his spine. For a few moments, what could have been minutes or hours, he let himself float into the dullness of sensory deprivation.

     When he finally removed his hands ears and lifted his head to thud back against the tower’s stone wall, he realized that at some point, Malfoy had slid down the wall beside him. Harry stared at the other boy, blurred slightly because his glasses still sat beside his feet. Malfoy’s gaze stayed fixed on the far wall.

     “Everyone is acting like nothing’s wrong,” Harry said finally, if only because there was nothing left to say and Malfoy had already seen everything. Malfoy was silent for a moment.

      “Technically, nothing should be.” He replied, finally. Harry looked closer, and the shadows beneath Malfoy’s eyes seemed to darken under his gaze.

     “But it is,” Harry said, unable to stop himself.

     “Yes,” came the firm response. The soft word seemed to echo through the tower. Harry waited for more; teasing or fighting or at least some feeling, but none came.

     “Well, what the fuck do we do now?” Harry blurted, feeling as if he was in some surreal alternate universe where, for once, Malfoy stopped talking and Harry, for once, didn’t want him to. 

     “What in Merlin’s name makes you think I know?” Harry snorted. For a moment, Malfoy sounded like himself before the war, young and arrogant and condescending. And then Malfoy spoke again;

     “We cry, Potter. We let ourselves cry and feel and talk about things and do everything that he didn’t want to let us live to do. And that’s how we win.”

     And, for the first time since the end of the war, Harry let the tears fall. It felt like pain and salt and blood and triumph. And if Harry let his head fall onto Malfoy’s shoulder at some point in the tower, then that felt like winning too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [. Click here ](https://incorrect-drarry-quotes.tumblr.com/post/163151102682/buckle-your-seatbelts-kiddos-im-in-a-massive) to see my prompt list. Feel free to use it or submit your own prompts to me! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr [ here. ](www.incorrect-drarry-quotes.tumblr.com)


End file.
